


Once Upon A Midnight Clear

by rameau



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-14
Updated: 2013-12-14
Packaged: 2018-01-02 11:09:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1056060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rameau/pseuds/rameau
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three nights before Christmas, two couples, one old house with no heat... what could possibly go wrong?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Once Upon A Midnight Clear

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fleete](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fleete/gifts).



> Happy holidays, fleete. I looked at your prompts and did something else instead.

Gwen rubbed her hands together for warmth. Her knitted gloves were lovely except when she put them on already freezing hands. Next to her, Arthur leaned over from the driver's seat and adjusted the thermostat. He gave her a small smile and leaned back, concentrating on the road again.

In the backseat Lance was whispering something and taking both Merlin's hands between his. 

They were all a bit cold in the car on their way to the Pendragon Cottage. The only one coping with the low temperature was Arthur, and even he was rhythmically squeezing the wheel to make blood flow quicker in his leather covered fingers.

It looked like they might get a proper white Christmas this year. Too bad they wouldn't be able to enjoy it fully. Gwen's heart ached for Arthur and Morgana, who were both pretending like they weren't going to miss the traditional awkward Christmas dinner at their father's town house. 

Uther had passed away unexpectedly in the summer heat, and Arthur had joked about having to watch out for his own ticker. If Morgana hadn't slapped him upside the head and pulled him into a stifling hug, Gwen would have. Failing that, Merlin, had he been there, would have become Arthur's living crutch. 

Had he been there.

For the last year Merlin had been in the Democratic Republic of the Congo with Doctors Without Borders, nursing and vaccinating people whose lives had been upended. How could he have known an upheaval of another kind would happen in his absence back home? Gwen remembered Merlin's frantic voice on the phone when he'd finally found a few minutes and a working connection for a call. Not that they'd talked. Arthur had snatched the phone from Gwen's hands and listened as the tension eased from his shoulders. The nightmares had ended after that too. For a time.

"Ice on the road?"

What?" Arthur startled at her question. "No. Why do you ask?" 

"That little muscle on your jaw is dancing. You're going to ruin your enamel if you keep that up."

"I wasn't gritting my teeth."

"Yes, you were." Arthur's jaw snapped shut and there was tittering in the backseat.

"Gwen, let him be," Merlin said. "Think of how much softer his kisses will be after he's gnawed through his crowns."

"Didn't think of that. Have you considered switching from surgical to oral? I can see you working miracles with Leon's patients," Gwen retorted.

"How much further still?" Lancelot was smooth. Gwen didn't think they'd ever known anyone who was that smooth and unflappable before. Both Morgana and Arthur had inherited Uther's temperament for social niceties, and Gwen had known them for too long to hold on to her bullshit filter. Sometimes spite was needed to get through to the Pendragon line. Leon was the closest thing to an unperturbed rock in their circle but he only needed one look to disquiet Morgana. 

It made sense that Merlin would be the one to attract strange birds to their flock. He'd done it before with Gwaine, Freya, and Gwen too. And now Merlin had returned home from Africa with Lance in tow. A soldier and a UN peacekeeper who was incapable of letting Merlin tell a story without teasing him and whose quiet gaze bemused Gwen. 

Arthur was convinced Merlin was hopelessly in love and that it was only a matter of time before Lance succumbed to his magic. Whenever Gwen tried to disagree, all Arthur needed to was to remind her of what had happened with Gwaine. But Gwaine was Gwaine, a special case. Gwen had trouble placing Lancelot on the same chart. Besides, Gwaine had been a one night stand who'd followed Merlin to their weekly dinner and never gone away. 

Arthur turned the car onto a small gravel road.

"I thought you said we were going to a cottage," Merlin said when they arrived at the house.

"I did. It's in the name, Pendragon Cottage." Arthur didn't even pretend to be modest. He had something to prove.

"And do you also consider Buckingham Palace a small-ish house?" Merlin asked.

"At least in here a cloakroom is for cloaks and you know where to find it."

"You say that like it's a good thing."

"Do you have the key?" Gwen asked before either could escalate the banter to true sniping. It might distract Arthur from what he had to do, but both would regret it later.

Arthur drove around the cottage and parked the car next to a side door. He gave her the keys and said:

"It's better if we go through the kitchen. It's the only room we have a chance to breathe some life into. The rest of it is—" Arthur searched for the right word for a long time.

"Is what?"

"Empty. It's just an empty house." Arthur looked like a lost little boy.

"I'm going to call Morgana and ask what's taking them so long." Merlin fled the car and took Lance with him.

Gwen reached over to touch Arthur but something in his expression stopped her. 

"What's wrong?" she asked.

He rubbed his palms against his thighs and muttered to himself. Gwen waited.

"I need to—" Arthur started. "I need to—" He turned to face her and Gwen could see him change his mind. Whatever had been weighing on his mind for months would have to wait a while longer. Arthur shook his head.

"I need to get used to the idea of never coming back here. The summers, the occasional winter holiday. Morgana always said this was more of a home for us than the house in town. And she was right. Father never understood it himself, but he changed when he brought us here. He was a better father to us."

Gwen didn't know what to say. Arthur's expression had changed, and she grabbed his hand to squeeze it.

"We better go before Merlin freezes his bollocks off," Arthur said.

"Or before you do."

"Or before I do." He nodded.

Gwen leaned over for a quick kiss but Arthur had already stepped out of the car.

 

* * *

 

"Morgana isn't coming." Merlin came to stand shoulder to shoulder with Arthur as he examined the exterior of the cottage.

"What? Why? This whole trip was her idea."

"Well, she said they were delayed and just getting in the car, but she sounded post-coital and definitely not in a hurry. My guess is Leon's keeping her firmly between the sheets and even if they were to get up and dressed this minute they wouldn't arrive here before midnight."

"Post-coital?"

"Yeah."

"That's been happening a lot lately. Last week I called Leon in the middle of the day at work and I swear Morgana was there giving him a blow job while we talked."

"That's your sister you're talking about," Merlin pointed out.

"After living with her in the same house for twenty years and suffering through Uther's version of _the talk_ , little details about my sister's sex life aren't going to disturb me. You should know, you were there."

"Don't remind me. I'm half convinced Uther's sex talk turned me gay."

"That wasn't funny then and it isn't funny now."

"I'm sorry, Arthur."

"We should get started." Arthur took a couple steps towards the Rover. 

"I know you don't believe me, but I am sorry Uther is dead, for your sake. Whatever he might've thought of me, he loved you."

Arthur turned on his heels. "How many times must I say it? My father didn't hate you, Merlin. He is, was, an overprotective prig who couldn't find a constructive way to express his emotions."

"Look who's talking." Merlin snorted.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"The ring, Arthur. You showed it to me before I left and when I came back a year later, you still hadn't asked Gwen to marry you. What exactly is holding you back? It can't be Uther's approval, because he loved Gwen as his own. He welcomed _her_ into the Pendragon family with open arms." Merlin spread his own to show just how alone he stood. 

"That's because Father knew—" Arthur stopped. 

"Knew what? How lucky you were to be with her? You should try to figure that out for yourself before Gwen realises she's worth much more and leaves you for someone who doesn't make her wait for years."

"Are you done?" Arthur's tone rivalled the outside temperature.

"No."

"Merlin," Arthur pleaded.

"I only want you to be happy, and she makes you happy. I'd hate to see you lose her because of whatever chronic emotional constipation you're suffering from."

Arthur had a dozen answers on the tip of his tongue, none of which would have mattered to Merlin. He nodded. He hung his head, waited, and was rewarded. 

"Despite what I keep telling you, you're not an idiot." Merlin held Arthur in a close embrace and continued with a low voice: "You're not stupid enough to push away the love of your life, not again, so why are you acting like you are?"

"I missed you," Arthur said in an equally soft voice. "I'm so used to doing the exact opposite of what you tell me to do that I was lost when you weren't here. Don't ever do that again."

Merlin remained silent. Arthur pulled back to look into his eyes.

"No."

"Give me a reason to stay then. Ask me to be your best man and give me a fixed date and I'll be here, for you."

"I can't."

"Yes, you can."

"I won't."

"You love her, don't you?" Arthur nodded. "Then what's the problem?"

"I'm not worthy of her."

"Gwen thinks you are," Merlin said and followed the fleeing Arthur to the car. "If she doesn't mind your footie obsession, lapses in personal hygiene and family baggage, why should you?"

Arthur fortified himself in preparation to saying the words he'd been avoiding for nearly a decade.

"She might not be the one for me."

"The one? Are you serious?" Merlin's hollow laughter died quickly.

"Yes." Arthur bit out.

"Who then? You wouldn't say that if you didn't have someone in mind. Someone from work? The new intern? What was his name—you've been talking a lot about him—Percy?"

"It's not Percy. There's no one. Forget I said anything. I must be out of my mind to suggest Gwen isn't everything a man like me could ever ask for." Arthur shook his head.

"A man like you isn't the same as you. Why are you sabotaging yourself? Why are you fighting so hard not to be happy?"

"Merlin, I—"

"You get to be happy. You don't need to earn it or prove yourself worthy of it. You simply grab the thing or the person that makes you happy and don't let go. I don't understand why you refuse to do it."

"That only works if the other person says yes," Arthur said.

"But you have to ask them first," Merlin shot back.

"We should go inside and help Gwen and Lance." Arthur took the bags from the back of the car and pushed Merlin's at him. "I hope you packed a sleeping bag. The bed clothes might be rotten." 

"We're not done here yet."

"Yes, we are."

"Arthur, this is your life. You can't just run away."

"Exactly. It's my life and I decide. Conversation over." Arthur slammed the backdoor shut and stalked inside to the warmth by the stove. He'd never felt colder in his life.

 

* * *

 

Gwen was there sorting out the tea. Lance was getting more coal for the fire and Merlin kept shaking his head whenever he caught Arthur looking. Arthur knew he shouldn't stare, that he should stop and make it clear for once and for all that Merlin couldn't push his buttons without paying the price.

Arthur should've lied.

Merlin had been gone for too long for Arthur to just ignore him like he'd learned to do in all the years they'd known each other. Except that was a lie too. Arthur had never, could never, ignore Merlin. From the moment the smaller boy had stood up to a bully and friended him, Merlin had become the North Star of Arthur's life.

It had been with Merlin's help that Arthur had found the courage to leave his father's business and start his own. It had been Merlin's faith that kept Arthur studying arts when he'd lacked vision and it had been Merlin who'd introduced Arthur to Gwen. 

"Why is this place in such disrepair?" Lance asked when he returned with the coal. 

"My great-grandfather had an avid distaste for anything modern so kept everyone from modernising the place until he died. Then, when it was my grandfather's turn, he made a muck of it. Father swore there were two whole months everything worked before the trouble started. By then he, we, didn't live here anymore except during the summer and no one really needs heat or electricity in the summer. That's what Father said," Arthur explained, accepting his tea from Gwen. 

"Did you say you've never been here before?" Lance turned to Merlin. "I thought you've known each other since childhood. Why wouldn't they invite you?"

"Arthur did. He asked me to come here with them every year, but I spent the holidays with my Da in Armagh. He's a bit of a restless soul, but that was the one schedule he stuck to, so I did too. Besides, having a regular break from the Pendragons helped to keep me sane." Merlin laughed into his mug.

"The feeling is mutual," Arthur said around his sandwich.

"Don't listen to them. They are insufferable whenever forced to spend any length of time apart," Gwen mock confided in Lance, but he replied in an all too earnest tone:

"So I've noticed."

Arthur glanced at Merlin, who was having trouble swallowing his drink. Arthur recommenced chewing. As comforting as the thought of Merlin talking about home and him to a stranger on the other side of the globe was, it also meant Merlin and Lance had grown close. Too close for Arthur's peace of mind.

"Where should we start?" Everyone waited for Arthur to speak, who finished his tea in his own time.

"It's best if we sort out the sleeping arrangements first. I'll need to walk through the house to see what needs to be done. I'll probably start with Father's office and go through the library for things we want to keep. I'm sure Morgana has her own wishlist she'll share if and when she gets here."

"If?" Gwen asked.

"She sounded busy when I called her." Gwen stared at Merlin. "She and Leon were busy shagging like rabbits."

"Oh."

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing. 

"What do you know, Gwen?"

"It's not mine to share. Morgana will tell you when she's ready."

"She'll tell me she likes sex?"

"That too." 

"Anyway," Arthur interrupted, "Take your sleeping bags and pick a bed. Not all the rooms have working fireplaces. They disassembled some of the chimneys when they threatened to collapse."

"How will we know which rooms are which?"

"You don't. It's a patchwork. Test it with a piece of paper and make sure you don't drop sparks on the carpets."

"That's helpful."

"Best I can do under the circumstances." Arthur shrugged. He took a torch and went into the dark hallway.

"Should I go after him?" Gwen asked Merlin. 

"He needs a moment."

Gwen looked at Merlin. "What did you talk about earlier?"

"You." 

She waited but he wasn't cracking.

"Okay then." Gwen pushed away from the worktop, went to a cupboard and took out a couple of storm lanterns. "You two make yourselves comfortable, I'm going to go explore."

"No electricity at all?"

"The place needs re-wiring and my curls are fine without the extra shock." She checked the oil and lit the lamp. Ten seconds after she had left the room, Lance turned to Merlin.

"No," Merlin said.

Lance waited.

"Fine. Go and break your own heart. Gwen isn't like that. She's not going to walk away from a years long relationship simply because you _smoulder_ at her."

"I don't smoulder," Lance protested.

"Yes, you do. Ask anyone at the camps. Even the straight guys will back me up on this. You see a pretty lady and you smoulder." Merlin put away his mug. "It's just that I'm having trouble seeing you as third wheel. Why would you want to break up a couple?"

"Do you think she's happy?" Lance asked.

Merlin couldn't answer him.

"Guinevere doesn't act like she's happily in love. If I thought for a second she was, I'd have stayed away. I'd be flying back tonight if I didn't think—" He exhaled the emotion. "I have to try. I have to ask and if she says no then that's that. I can't explain it but I know I'd regret it for the rest of my life if I walked away and didn't try."

"If you must, you must. But you're spending Christmas with Mum and me, so no more talk about flying away. Okay?" Merlin asked.

Lance nodded and got up from his chair.

"What are you going to do? Sweep her off her feet?"

"Not without Guinevere's permission."

"I'd wish you good luck, but—"

"The sentiment is understood."

Lance stopped by the door. "I wouldn't want you to live with regrets either."

Merlin watched Lance slip away into the dark hallway as he tried to decide how to react. The truth would have to suffice.

"Too late for that, mate."

 

* * *

 

Gwen walked briskly. She had memorised this route on their last visit the year before. Arthur and Morgana had been busy showing Leon all their favourite childhood hideouts, when Uther had secreted Gwen away to show her the dilapidated chapel that was part of the old wing. They'd had a good talk then as Uther had tried to gauge Gwen's readiness to cope with Arthur and all that came with dating him for the rest of her life.

In the beginning, during their first try, Arthur had been nervous about introducing Gwen to his father but Uther had never been anything other than considerate with her. He'd held onto his secrets as tightly as Arthur did, but the only one Uther ever had trouble confiding in was his own son. 

Uther had shown Gwen the old Bibles detailing the births and deaths of the Pendragons over the centuries, and she wanted to preserve those for Arthur. And for Morgana. They'd been friends first, but Arthur was like a sun that outshone his sister's moon. On days like this, it made Gwen sad. 

She pushed open the rickety door and entered the small room. It was as empty as the rest of the cottage. The altar and the crucifix remained but the pews had been carried away. Gwen set the lantern on the altar and went to the shelf hidden in the corner. She searched until her fingers stopped by a name that made her smile every single time.

"Brave Sir Robin, who is that?"

Gwen jumped as a tanned hand came to rest next to hers. 

"You scared me." She flicked a finger.

"Ow." Lance made a point cradling his arm like it'd been broken.

"Big baby." He just smiled at her.

"You didn't say, who is it?" Lance nodded at the Bible.

"One of Arthur and Morgana's ancestors. He was married to Lady Catrina and they had a son called Ambrosius who never amounted to anything but married well and carried on the family name."

"Have you memorised all the names?"

"Only my favourites. I wanted to be prepared when it came time to talk baby names with Arthur." 

Neither took a step but the distance between them grew. Lance's expression shifted.

"Are you and Arthur planning for a baby?" he asked.

"We haven't talked about it, yet, but we've known each other for ten years and been together for five. It's bound to come up eventually," Gwen said returning to skim the pages.

"Aren't you skipping a step? Shouldn't there be a proposal first?"

"My parents had a shotgun wedding, so I know from personal experience it doesn't always work that way."

"You're—"

"—technically a bastard. Not that anyone cares anymore. And my parents were happy until my mum died."

"I'm sorry."

"Thanks but it was years ago," Gwen said. "Only Dad's having trouble remembering that."

"Time and distance doesn't make the loss any less real."

Gwen nodded and focused on the names again. Lance leaned over her shoulder to look at the book as she kept turning the pages. He opened his mouth to speak again:

"You love him very much, don't you?"

"My dad? Yes, of course."

"No, I meant Arthur."

"Yes, I do. What of it?" Gwen was confused.

"I thought—it seems to me," Lance paused. "There really isn't a good way for me to say this, is there? I'm sorry."

"Spit it out, whatever it is." She stood straighter to face him.

"I don't understand what you see in him."

"Didn't Merlin explain this to you? He's the resident Arthur-expert," Gwen said. Somehow that made Lance look more uncomfortable than anything else had before.

"No, he didn't," came the simple answer.

Gwen thought about it for a minute. "Arthur is my anchor, without him I'd float away. Merlin and him are the same in that they stick with bad decisions, whereas I, left to my own devices, would choose to run away. That's why Merlin going to the Congo came as such a shock. It was something I would do, not him."

"You're deflecting," Lance interrupted. "You're talking about anyone but yourself."

"See, running away even now." Gwen pointed at herself.

"I would like to know who you are, Guinevere Smith. Please, let me."

He looked so sincere. Not mischievous or boyish like she'd expected, but slightly more terrifying and truly earnest. It'd beed a long time since anyone had asked that of her. Gwen locked her jaw for an instant and nodded. 

"Twenty questions, twenty honest answers."

Lance's smile was blinding.

"And you help me with the books on the top shelf," she added.

 

* * *

 

"What are you reading?" Merlin asked when he couldn't risk lingering by the door in the silence any longer. Arthur looked up from the papers in front of him but didn't answer. He was blushing.

"Something racy, is it?" Merlin asked, perking up. He pushed himself away from the doorframe and buried his fists in his pockets as he made his way to the desk.

"Love letters," Arthur said finally. "From my mother to my father. It's so wrong, but I have to read them because _she_ wrote them." 

Merlin gave in to the impulse and reached to squeeze Arthur's shoulder. 

"At least you can't blame Uther for hiding them."

"It's not that, he told me they wrote letters. He just didn't tell me they were each other's second choices. Its in here, it's all in here." Arthur buried his face in his hands for a moment.

"What's in there?" Merlin asked.

"It was a marriage of convenience. My mother's lover, a woman, had abandoned her in favour of pursuing a career in politics and my father, he sent the love of his life back to France on a boat."

"Was she Morgana's mother?"

"No. Couldn't have been." Arthur leaned back until the chair creaked. He was waiting for his cue. 

"How do you know?" Merlin obliged to play his part.

"Because his name was Gaius."

Merlin's hand slipped from Arthur's shoulder and he staggered a step back. 

"Uther—" He shook his head. "Uther was gay?"

"Both my parents were."

Merlin covered his mouth with his hand.

"Baroness Nimueh Lake could've been my second mother."

Merlin tried not to but the shaking was impossible to stop.

"Are you—" Arthur squinted. "Are you laughing?" He sounded indignant.

Merlin shook his head but it only made the tremors worse. He couldn't hold it in.

"Merlin!"

"Admit it, it's funny," Merlin demanded before filing the room with his continuous laughter.

"Christ." Arthur succumbed to giggles too.

"Show me," Merlin said reaching for the letters when they'd calmed down a little.

"No!" Arthur slammed his hand over the correspondence. "You're not touching these."

"Don't be a prat. I want to know what made Uther tick. How could he love a man and not accept his children's gay friend."

"Merlin." There wasn't a warning in Arthur's voice this time, only simple exhaustion. 

"I wish you'd quit defending him in this. Uther had many flaws and this was one of them."

"He did not hate you." 

"Arthur—"

"He thought you broke my heart."

"What?" Merlin froze. Arthur rolled his shoulders back and tense readying for the blowback. 

"My father was under the impression that we dated before you came out and that we broke up because I wasn't ready to declare myself as bi. My father didn't hate you, Merlin. He was trying to protect me."

"That never happened," Merlin protested.

"I know."

"Where on earth could he come up with this? I would never, could never—Arthur, you know I wouldn't."

"I know," Arthur said and took a deep breath.

"Why would Uther think we'd be a couple and keep it a secret?"

"Because it happened to him. He and Gaius met at school, fell in love, kept it a secret for years. When Grandfather started to talk about marriage, my father wanted to tell him it all. Gaius wouldn't let him; secrecy was everything to him. Father said his goodbyes and went to cry against the shoulder of a very good family friend, Ygraine de Bois."

"Convenient."

"It was, but you see, don't you?" It was as close to begging as Merlin had ever heard Arthur get.

"How long have you known?" he asked instead. "When did Uther tell you? Not about Gaius but what he thought I'd done?"

"Five months or so. He told me in the hospital. He said," Arthur paused, "he said I shouldn't be a coward."

"Pendragon until the very end."

"No, that's not it." Arthur sat up straighter.

"Then what was it?" 

Arthur pushed himself on his feet. He walked slowly to Merlin, lifted his hands to Merlin's shoulders, and looked into his eyes. Arthur moved to cup the back of Merlin's head and leaned in closer.

"This," Arthur whispered before kissing Merlin lightly.

Merlin's mouth moved. He responded to each touch of Arthur's lips with his own adding a lick here and there. Merlin's hands found the back of Arthur's shirt and tangled in there.

It wasn't what he'd imagined, but it was what he wanted.

"No." Merlin's hands were on Arthur's shoulders pushing him away. Arthur's hands fell behind Merlin's back to hold him gently as Arthur hung his head. They were both breathing heavily. 

"We can't do this," Merlin said. By his head movements Arthur seemed to agree but Merlin couldn't be sure. This was going to break him. "Gwen's a friend and I can't hurt her like this."

"What?" Arthur looked up. 

"You're with Gwen, you're planning to propose. You know this is everything I've ever wanted, but I can't do a one night stand, not even for you. We can't do this, because we both love Gwen too much to betray her." Merlin clung to Arthur's jumper.

"No, I don't know," Arthur said. "I don't know because you never told me." He sounded inordinately happy. Merlin wasn't quite sure how to react.

"You never knew what? That I—"

Arthur shook his head. "You didn't give me much hope of being anything other than a good friend. I didn't push because I didn't want to lose what I had, your friendship." Arthur pulled Merlin closer.

"How could you miss it? I'm an open book and I'm always clinging to you."

"It's easy to miss when you think yourself unworthy."

"Arthur." Merlin framed Arthur's face with his hands. "You are worthy."

Arthur buried his face in Merlin's neck and mumbled. Merlin raked his fingers through Arthur's hair and wrapped him in an embrace. 

"Believe it," Merlin whispered, "you are."

 

* * *

 

"Raspberry," Gwen answered and continued. "That won't work. You better lift me up and I'll grab them."

Lance was reaching for the two small notebooks barely visible on the top shelf. He glanced at Gwen and stepped down from the bottom shelf he'd been standing on. "How do you want to do this?"

She stood in front of him and took his hands to put them around her waist. 

"Just give me a boost, I'm not that heavy, I promise." She turned to climb the now empty shelves, but he stopped her.

"I don't think that's a good idea." Lance turned her back to face him and looked at her for a moment. "I'm going to kneel and you're going to sit on my shoulder. It should give you enough height to reach at the back when I stand up. Okay?"

Gwen gave him a hesitant smile.

"Do you trust me?" he asked and she nodded. "Then don't worry. I won't let you fall." He guided her to the shelf and did as he'd promised. Gwen grabbed for Lance's short hair when he lifted her.

"Sorry." 

"You can let go now and my scalp will thank you."

"Sorry, sorry."

"Blueberry. Your turn."

"What?" Gwen was distracted by the strong arms wrapped around her legs keeping Lance's promise: She would not fall.

"My favourite berry is blueberry. It's your turn to ask."

"Oh, okay." Gwen was searching and finding more than she'd anticipated. "Why did you join the peacekeepers?"

"I wanted to fight. It's as simple as that. I've always wanted to fight, I just didn't have anything to fight for. So, I joined the army and now I let the UN pick a cause for me. Sometimes it works, but not always. The rebels surrendering gave us hope, though."

"When Morgana heard it in the news, she said Merlin had singled-handedly brought peace to Congo." 

Lance snorted. "I might have had little something to do with it too."

"I believe you did." Gwen looked down on him. "You can put me down now." This time Lance simply put his hands around Gwen's waist and lifted her off his shoulder and onto the floor. He was slow to let her go.

"May I ask a serious question?"

"It's part of the game, isn't it." She saw him hesitate.

"If you love Arthur as much as you say, why aren't you happy?"

"Who says I'm not happy?"

"You're not denying it."

The automatic lie died on Gwen's lips. Losing her bullshit filter had its downside.

"I love him very much, but the life we have together isn't—it isn't—I don't have a word for it."

Lance nodded as if he understood. 

"What's in the books?" he asked. Gwen looked at the dusty tomes that had ruined her shirt. She cracked open one of them.

"I know this handwriting, it's Morgana's. It makes sense she'd hide things here—oh."

Lance cricked his neck trying to see. "Did she copy Kama Sutra?"

"No, I don't think so. These are her diaries. With illustrations."

"I see Arthur isn't the only one with artistic talent in the family." Gwen wanted to pinch him but he wasn't lying. "How does that even work? How is it possible to contort a human body like that?" 

"Is that one of your questions?" Gwen turned her eyes to his and waited.

"Yes, I think it is. Would you show me?"

"Okay, I will. I'm glad you picked an easy one." Gwen put the notebooks on a lower shelf, brushed her palms against her jeans and said: "Sit down on the floor."

Lance obeyed.

"Spread your legs and pull your left knee up. Just like that." She went to stand over his right leg spread flat on the floor and dropped to sit on front of him sliding her own right leg under his cocked left one. Her left knee rested against his right thigh.

"But how—"

She scooted closer and pulled his arms loosely around her. 

"It's supposed to be slow rocking with plenty of room to kiss and touch all over."

He was looking down between their bodies as if imagining. Gwen tamped down the urge to kiss him. His hands were on her hips pulling her closer now. She went with them.

"I can see it." Lance's arms tightened around her. Gwen waited but he didn't push for more. He was simply watching her mouth and Gwen realised she'd been licking her lips.

"Kiss me," she said.

Lance glanced into her eyes before slowly moving to close the distance between their mouths. Gwen came alive under his touch. She moved closer and held him tighter. It was just a kiss, but she'd rather give up air than stop. 

Luckily he had a bit more sense than she did.

Lance rested his forehead against hers and brushed his fingers down along her spine. The sound of their breathing drowned out the question neither was ready to ask: 

Now what?

Gwen kissed him again.

 

* * *

 

Arthur couldn't stop touching Merlin. He'd had to let the man escape their embrace, but he was still holding on to Merlin's hand while he read the letters. 

"I had nightmares," Arthur said suddenly. "When you left, I started having bad dreams. I don't remember them all, but in the ones I do, you died a thousand deaths."

"I'm okay." Merlin looked up and squeezed their joined hands.

"I know that, now. But I don't want to go through that again."

"Arthur I'm—"

"Stay. Don't leave again, please. Even if this doesn't work right away, don't go."

"I've been looking for a job. I didn't want to say anything because I thought—"

"You wanted to return to Africa."

"I didn't _want_ to. Well, part of me does. I thought there wasn't anything here for me. I thought you'd be engaged and planning for a wedding. I thought Uther's death would make you stop waiting." Merlin paused. "And I wanted to force myself to move on."

"I made a mess, didn't I?" Arthur pulled away and circled the desk. He sat on the edge of it and stared into the darkness. 

"We both did. Speaking of—" Merlin came to sit next to Arthur. "Gwen."

"I'll have to talk to her."

"We'll both have to, but you should go first. She deserves to hear it from you."

" _'Sorry about wasting ten years of your life.'_ Just what every woman wants to hear. God, I'm stupid."

"I don't think we'll find anyone to disagree with you." Merlin chuckled. "But—and this is a huge one—but you're not the only one in that relationship. Gwen chose to take you back. It's not all on you."

"Then why does it feel like it is?" Arthur asked looking at Merlin who brought his hand to Arthur's neck.

"It's that big heart of yours, one of the many reasons I fell in love with you." Arthur grabbed Merlin's wrist and Merlin's chest seized. "I love you, Arthur Pendragon." Merlin liked the taste of those words. He couldn't imagine ever getting enough of them.

"I love you, Merlin Emrys. I have for twenty years."

"Twenty?"

"Give or take a few months."

"God, you're slow."

"But I get it right at the end."

"Yes, you do."

 

* * *

 

Lance caught his breath lying on the dirty wooden floor with his eyes chasing the ceiling shadows. 

"Come with me," he said.

Guinevere laughed beside him. "I don't even know you."

"Then get to know me. Ask me any question you want, travel with me, see the world and let me show you. Please."

"My life is here."

Lance rolled to lie on his side. She looked radiant and he could have spent an infinity watching the light play on her face, her hair, her body.

"Staying in one place can be about running away too."

"That doesn't make sense."

"You know better than that." Lance exhaled. "Think about it. I'm going to go find Merlin."

"Don't—" Guinevere grabbed his arm to stop him. Lance brought her fingers to his lips.

"You need to talk to Arthur. You have plenty of time; my flight leaves on New Year's eve." 

He got up and walked out of the chapel slowly. Lance hated this part, this not knowing. All he could do was to hope Guinevere would give him a new reason to fight for.

Lance moved in the dark and found his way to the room Merlin had dropped their bags in. He unfurled the sleeping bag and sat on the bed to wait. As if by accident he slipped into this meditation routine and let the time trickle away. He felt more at peace than he had since returning home with Merlin. Maybe he could find hope again. Maybe he was capable of letting go and moving on from that old hurt he hadn't shared with anyone he hadn't been legally obligated to share it with. This soft and easing feeling was new and uncomfortable but Lance liked uncomfortable when it brought a change with it.

"How did it go?" Merlin entered the room turning off his torch. Lance smiled.

"I asked. She's thinking about it."

Merlin sat beside him. "I did not see that coming."

"So you said." Lance observed Merlin chewing his lip in the moonlight.

"What do you think she'll do?"

"She'll do what's right for her."

"Fine, don't tell me." After a moment Merlin nudged Lance with his shoulder. "Are you tired?"

"No."

"Dammit, Lance, play along will you."

"Okay." Lance said sounding amused.

"Are you tired?"

"Yes," he said like a good little boy.

"I'm sorry, but you're going to have to sleep alone."

"But Merlin, you promised," Lance recited his lines.

"I know I begged you to share your sleeping bag but I'm afraid someone might protest if I did. My boyfriend is the jealous type," Merlin said the words with a distinct glee. Lance hugged him.

"I'm glad for you, but should you be calling him that just yet?"

"Bad taste, I know, but you said it: No regrets."

"In that case." Lance pulled back and kissed Merlin on the mouth. When he stopped and saw Merlin's stunned expression, he added: 

"I couldn't let that prig Edwin be your last non-committed-relationship kiss."

"Give me tongue."

 

* * *

 

Gwen found Arthur in Uther's room lighting the fireplace. He looked at peace in a way he hadn't in months. It was a good look on him, but also worrying. Gwen wasn't sure she knew this Arthur, but after what had happened moments earlier, she couldn't be sure she knew herself either. Staring at the flames made her realise how cold it was.

"I thought we'd be staying in your room," she said dashing to their bags. She didn't remember packing anything warmer, but Arthur usually had a spare jumper or a cardigan in his things. It had become a habit of hers to live on with whatever Arthur brought with them. Sometimes she was afraid what would happen if she made an actual effort to plan ahead. 

"No flue there. A casualty of time and neglect. Whoever buys this place is going to get a money-draining project for life," Arthur explained.

"Has anyone made an offer yet?" 

"I don't think Morgana has put it on the market yet. She should've, by now, but she hasn't."

"Your sister has other things on her mind." Gwen was getting desperate with her search and agitated enough for Arthur to notice. 

"Come here," he said and patted the edge of the bed he was sitting on. She hesitated only for a moment before going to him, allowing him to pull her into a warm embrace and build a cocoon from blankets.

"What do you know about my sister's troubles that I don't?" he asked, rubbing warmth into her arms. This was the man she knew and loved: Considerate even in his absentmindedness. 

"I promised not to tell. She won't keep it a secret for much longer, though. I hope." Gwen tried not to think how different her and Morgana's lives had turned out to be from what they had planned while still in school. 

"I'll be the last person she'll tell," Arthur said dryly. 

"No, the second, right after Leon."

That stopped him. Arthur turned to look at her with a sudden comprehension, but what Gwen saw underneath the joy was sharp pang of sadness. It would never be them.

"I've been trying to talk to you about something, with abysmal success, as you've noticed." 

Gwen waited patiently. Arthur would get to the point quicker without her interruptions.

"And I assume you've seen this lying around the house." He pulled something from his pocket and Gwen's eyes were drawn to the small velvet box resting against Arthur's left knee.

"I bought this," he continued, "over a year ago with every intention to ask you to marry me at the first opportunity. I didn't. I didn't ask you and it's taken me this long to accept that I never will."

She sat still, tense like an iron rod.

"I love you. I love your smile, your determination, and your ability to give as good as you get without irredeemably insulting anyone in the process."

"Unlike some I know." Gwen nudged him.

"Well, someone had to improve on Morgana's methods." He grinned for an instant, and she could hear the but coming. "I'm sorry, Gwen. I shouldn't have started anything with you while I was in love with someone else. Both times."

"You say his name in your sleep." Gwen smiled." You say it a lot, so I can't claim this came as huge surprise."

"What?" Arthur's mouth hung open.

"Merlin. You call out his name in your dreams even when I can't wake you."

"The nightmares—I told you why I had those. Him being in the middle of a rabies outbreak did it."

"It started long before he left."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

That was the question. Gwen wasn't sure she had the answer.

"For the same reason you bought an engagement ring and never used it. I love you, Arthur Agravaine Pendragon. I love the life we have together. It just isn't what I want from life. It isn't enough, but I'm scared to ask for more." She rested her head against his shoulder.

"Why are you afraid?"

"Because that's what the Smiths do. My brother loses himself in his travels, my father in his grief, and my mother lost herself in cancer."

"You're not them, you're Guinevere." Gwen leaned away trying to decipher why the sound of her name was wrong.

"Why do we have to be such adults about this?" she asked suddenly. "Where's the screaming and throwing of things? Where are the tears and scratched faces? Where's the drama?"

Arthur laughed a low laugh. 

"Because we are adults. We grew up and no one noticed. You can still throw things if you want. It'll keep you warm. I'm too exhausted for proper dramatics."

"Wimp."

"I am," he agreed.

"Will you be taking the sleeping bag to share with Merlin? No, don't even think about it. It's made for two and I'm not sharing it with either of you or keeping it to myself. Don't try to pull the chivalric crap on me." 

"You'll freeze."

"I won't if you tend to the fire and find me extra covers for the bed."

Arthur tried to gauge his chances. He was fighting a losing battle, but maybe there was still room for a compromise. 

"I'm pretty sure Merlin lied about forgetting his equipment, but let me go make sure."

"You do that," Gwen said to Arthur's receding back. She was left to sit in an empty room, listening to the fire and Uther's ghost. She felt oddly adrift and didn't quite know what to do with it. 

"Gwen?"

"Come in, Merlin."

"Will I need protective padding?" 

"Quit it, and come here." She watched him approach with short, careful steps. He stopped by the bed column, grabbed it and pressed his temple against the cool, smooth wood. 

"Do you hate me?" he asked.

"No. I should, but I don't. That if anything should tell you everything you need to know about my relationship with Arthur." Gwen spoke with faked calm. Strange things were happening in her body. She felt cold and overheated at the same time. Her heart was racing and her diaphragm was aching.

"I've known from the start that you love him. When you first introduced us I saw how you looked at him and heard how you talked about him. Arthur seemed indulgently fond of you."

"You make me sound like his favourite puppy." Merlin looked stricken.

"Yes. That's why I agreed to go out with him when he asked me. I didn't think I was breaking any hearts coming between you two, which makes me a terrible friend."

"You knew and you dated him anyway."

"Yes."

"Why would you do that?" Anguish made an appearance in Merlin's voice.

"Because I liked Arthur. Because you weren't doing anything about it. Because I wasn't looking for anything serious. Because he's Arthur. And because I fell in love with him." Gwen squeezed her eyes shut. "I broke up with him because I didn't think he'd care, that he could love me in the way I needed him to love me. But he did and he fought for me. Do you know how empowering that is?"

Merlin shook his head.

"Arthur fights for everyone else, he puts their needs or what he perceives as their needs first. He needs someone to fight for him all the time, even against himself. I tried and I failed." Gwen stood to look Merlin better in the eye. "You have to take care of him. You have to remind him to eat when he doesn't, to wash when he's too busy for a shower, to leave the house when he's absorbed in a project. You can't stop him from giving his heart to a cause but you can stop it from consuming him. Promise me you'll take care of him. Promise me."

"I promise." Merlin enveloped her into a hug. "What about you? What do you need?"

"I don't know. That's the problem." She stepped away. 

There came a knock from the door. 

"I brought the sleeping bag," Lance said.

"I should go. I'll see you in the morning," Merlin said to no one in particular and left the room, avoiding both Gwen and Lance.

She waited for Lance to make his move. He simply put the bundle on the chair by the door, nodded to her, and turned to leave too.

"Where are you going to sleep?" she asked.

"I'll find something."

"I can't take your sleeping bag and let you sleep in tattered sheets. You're a guest here."

"And you're not the mistress of this house, not anymore. It's not your problem." That kindness in his voice wounded her.

"Thank you for the reminder."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said it."

"No you shouldn't have." Gwen started pacing between the bed and the fireplace.

"I'm sorry, I'll go."

"And run away?" She mocked him. 

"What do you want, Guinevere? What can I do to help?"

"Maybe you can turn back the clock, so I'll have one less thing to feel guilty about."

"Never." His tone stopped her in her tracks. "I don't regret a thing and neither should you."

"How can you say that? I cheated. I cheated on Arthur and I haven't told him. How can I not regret that?"

"You stopped lying to yourself. Isn't that more important?"

"Two wrongs don't make a right."

"People are shit. The least you can do is to be an honest shit. Your first priority should be to yourself," he simply said.

"What I did is pretty damn selfish," she bit out.

Lance went to her and took Gwen's face between his palms.

"Your selfishness isn't at the expense of anyone else's happiness or health. Or would you rather continue this charade for another fifty years because you're not ready to face yourself? Would you rather keep two people who love each other apart? That'd be the height of selfishness. Guinevere, you need to forgive yourself."

She stared into his eyes.

"How do you know? What did you have to forgive?"

Lance flinched and let his hands to drop to his sides. "This isn't the night for that story."

"That isn't an answer."

"It's the only one you're going to get unless you'd like me to lie to you. I will if you press me on this." He changed before her eyes. The gentle, relaxed man disappeared and battle-hardened soldier took his place. 

"Who are you?"

"Others have asked. I never found a good answer, not after—" Lance paused and seemed to deflate. "I want to tell you, which is more than I can say for anyone else. Today is about you, not me. Bleeding wounds take priority before old scars. And now, I really should go and let you get some rest."

Gwen watched him retreat. The word was out before she understood she'd spoken: "Stay."

Lance glanced over his shoulder and she could see the rejection forming. 

"I won't ask you to spend the night on the floor but I'm not asking for anything more either." Time. She needed time, but she wasn't ready to let him go either. 

He turned slowly on his heels and glanced about the room. The corners of his mouth twisted upwards: "I'll get the mop then, shall I?"

Gwen smiled.

 

* * *

 

"Good morning! Where's everyone?" Morgana stood in the middle of the hall with her hands on her hips and waiting for the world to kneel at her feet.

"It's barely eight AM, they're probably still sleeping," her husband of thirteen months said from the front door.

"Arthur hasn't slept past six since he turned ten and he was sick that day. No, something strange is afoot. Come, we'll investigate."

"No, you don't." Leon caught her before Morgana could reach the stairs and held her close. "We'll make the breakfast and let them sleep a while longer. They can wait to face your brilliance until they've eaten and so can you." He pressed a kiss on her temple before straightening his back.

"Is it still sore?" she asked when she saw him holding his lumbar region. "I could—" She lifted her eyebrows and grinned.

"I'm fine, thanks." He laughed. Morgana attached herself to his side and burrowed her face into his coat for a moment. 

"You don't think I'm out of my mind, do you?" she asked.

"It's not what anyone else would choose to do, but I didn't fall in love with anyone else. Besides, it's your money. All I need to do is to sip my espresso when you order your minions around." Leon laid his arm around her shoulder and steered them towards the kitchen.

"Ours. It's our money and you won't get off that easily."

"Is that a promise?" He leaned down for a kiss. 

"Always." When she stood on her toes, they heard voices from upstairs. 

"You kissed him! I can't believe you did that."

"I think I heard someone in downstairs."

"Merlin, don't change the subject. Why would you snog Lance?"

"Morgana," Leon whispered.

"Shh, I'm trying to listen." She put a finger on his mouth and he nibbled at it.

"Because, Arthur, there's only one man I'm going to snog for the rest of my life and this was my last chance to be wild."

"Couldn't you have done that in Africa and not under my roof?"

"Did you miss the part with one man and for the rest of my life?" After a moment's pause Merlin continued: "That's what I thought."

"What did you do?" Leon asked as he and Morgana waited for the new couple to make their way downstairs.

"Nothing."

"Nothing apart from organising this weekend trip right before Christmas and making sure we'd stay behind for the first night," Leon elaborated. "You could've told me."

"It was more fun this way, wasn't it?"

"One of these days you're going to get caught. What will you do then?"

"All they needed was time together and I provided it. I didn't do anything, really." Morgana pouted and Leon laughed. 

"You're going to be in so much trouble in a few years. I can't wait."

She feigned indignation and slapped his arm. That was when Merlin spotted them. He turned back to Arthur to say: 

"If my snogging Lance bothers you so much, you can kiss Leon and we'll be even."

"Don't be ridiculous," Arthur said at the exact time Morgana asked: 

"What are you promising my husband into?"

"Just a little payback. Come on Morgana, wouldn't it be worth it to see Arthur and Leon kiss?" Merlin asked.

Everyone's eyes were on her.

"Talk, Merlin, that's my limit. Morgana can talk about her sex life as much as she wants, but I won't participate in it," Arthur said.

"Shame," Morgana said just to goad Arthur.

"Pendragons," Leon spoke to Merlin, "can't live with them, can't live without them. Eh?"

"I know exactly what you mean." Merlin beamed.

"Have you two finally taken the smart pill and decided pining in silence is passé?" Morgana asked with an uncharacteristically careful tone. 

"Are you going to gloat?" Arthur replied.

She shook her head, fought back the tears of joy, and exchanged her husband's arms for her those of her brother's. 

"I'm happy for you," Morgana whispered. "You owe me, but I'm so happy for you both."

"Yeah, I owe you."

Morgana grabbed Arthur by the shoulders and pushed him at an arm's length. With a loud voice she said: 

"Did you hear that, darling? He volunteered."

"I knew you could do it," Leon said. 

"Volunteered for what?" Merlin asked.

"For babysitting for the foreseeable future."

"Babysitting?" Arthur asked and Morgana nodded. She was quickly squeezed between him and her brother-in-law-to-be.

"Congrats to you both. When?" 

"In twenty-four weeks, so in the summer. We're going to be busy."

"I can only imagine. Whatever I can do to help, I'll do it," Arthur promised.

"Honey, you did it again," Leon said with pride.

"So I did."

Arthur palmed his face. "What's this now?"

Morgana held out her hand for Leon to grab. The married couple shared a look.

"We want to move here," Leon said.

"We don't want to raise a family in the city and I can't bear to let this place go. Not yet, maybe not ever," Morgana added.

"Do you know what you're getting yourselves into? A wrecking ball is the only recommended renovation scheme for places like this."

"No, it's not. We know it's going to take a lot of work, but we want to do it, and you promised to help."

"You tricked me," Arthur grumbled. 

"That's what I do. You've had thirty years to process this fact," Morgana pointed out. "So unless you want to move into the town house, we should sell that instead."

"Merlin?" 

"We'll talk." Merlin took Arthur's hand in his. "Later. First we celebrate."

"Celebrate what?" Gwen descended the stairs. "Did you tell them, Mo?" 

"I told them."

"Good, then I can steal you for a minute and leave the men to panic."

Morgana raised an eyebrow but followed Gwen to the nearby sitting room. She glanced over her shoulder and saw all three men in a group hug. 

Gwen had barely closed the door behind them before she spoke:

"I cheated on your brother."

"Excuse me?"

"I cheated on Arthur, with Lancelot. In the chapel. We found one of your old diaries and one thing led to another and I'm a horrible person."

"Was he good?"

"What? That's what you want to know?"

"Gwen, Gwen." Morgan took Gwen's hands in hers to calm her friend. 

"A moment ago I watched my brother defer to Merlin in a financial decision—the only kind he hasn't before—after hearing them talk about exclusive snogging rights for the rest of their lives. My brother, whom when I last saw was still planning on proposing to you. Do you really think I care if you grabbed some man meat elsewhere? You're still my friend and I want you to be happy."

"Man meat?" Gwen asked.

"That was the first thing that popped into my mind." They giggled. 

"You haven't changed one bit in sixteen years," Gwen said.

"Sixteen? Christ. That's the diary you found? I want it back, you know."

"You'll have to wait until I've read it."

More laughing ensued and was followed by a hug.

"You are all right, aren't you?" Morgana asked.

"Yes."

"What are you going to do?" 

"I honestly don't know. I'm pretty sure I'll need to spend some time on my own before I'm ready to date again."

"You might need to look for a new job," Morgana warned. "Leon and I are planning to move here. We're going to fix this place and see what happens."

"You're kidding, right?"

"Why does everyone keep saying that? It really isn't that bad. No, I'm not kidding."

"Why?"

"I love it here. It's home to me. I'm glad that Leon agrees and I won't have to choose between the two."

"If he'd ask, you wouldn't hesitate." Gwen shook her head. "Can't believe it. I was the one who always wanted a big family and you're the one married, pregnant, and ready to rebuild a house."

"Again, not that bad. Just lots of cleaning, rewiring, perhaps better insulation and… anyway. Who is talking about a big family? It's one baby."

"One for now."

"Don't go painting devils on the wall."

Gwen shook her head and bit her lips to keep back the laugh. 

"Can we go back now. I'm a bit peckish," Morgana said. 

"I bet you are. Morgana, do you know what happened to Lance?"

Morgana closed the door she'd just opened. 

"Why do you ask?"

"He said something curious last night but refused to give me any details."

"Why did you ask me?" Morgana elaborated.

"Because you know him. I saw it when we had that Thursday dinner together. You covered it up pretty well, but I could tell. He doesn't remember, does he?" Gwen asked.

"No, he doesn't. This would be better coming from him."

"Please. He asked me to go with him and I'm considering it."

"What happened to being on your own?"

"Going with him to the Congo wouldn't mean being with him, not necessarily, not right away. I want to know if he's worth the effort or should I take my chances with the rest of the world."

Morgana pondered for a moment. She nodded then and spoke:

"It was my first week working for the paper. The arsonist story. Lance's infant son was one of the victims and his girlfriend, the baby's mother, blamed him because Lance had had to work and leave the baby at the day care. She was god knows where, but it was _his_ fault according to them."

"Your first week?"

"The Twin Towers buried the story."

Gwen covered her mouth and swallowed a shout.

"Lance is a good man and he's come a long way, but it's obvious he still carries the hurt with him. I wouldn't want you to go into a relationship expecting something you can never get. Not again."

"Thank you for telling me."

"What will you do?"

"Give him a chance, I think."

"Gwen."

"Not this minute. I want to wait a while longer, but maybe he'll meet me halfway."

There was a knock on the door. Merlin stuck his head in and said:

"Are you coming? "There's a fry-up waiting."

After a quick hug Morgana followed Merlin and started the teasing that would not cease until they were old and decrepit if even then. Gwen lingered. 

She was happy for Morgana and Leon, and even for Merlin and Arthur, but her heart ached for herself and for Lance. Her head was reminding her that Christmas was in three days and she'd have to explain to her father why they would be celebrating by themselves. After that, she'd need to find a new job, a new apartment, and a new life. She'd have to figure out who she was in her skin. 

The enormity of the change terrified her. Gwen knew she'd keep her friends, but this was something she'd need to do on her own for herself and that bit exhilarated her. The world would not keep her down. 

Turning around on her heels, Gwen looked around the room. Morgana had been right. The task didn't look as impossible in the early morning light. The walls were solid and the floors even. The windows might have to be changed for a more energy efficient model but Gwen didn't doubt the foundations could withstand even bigger changes. 

She pulled her shoulders back, dropped her hands to her hips and nodded.

 

* * *

 

Arthur stole a sausage from Merlin's plate as he was talking to Leon who held Morgana close to his side even as she reached for more toast. Lance made her laugh out loud and it was that sound that greeted Gwen as she entered the kitchen.

Lance noticed her first and excused himself from the table. Morgana repeated the joke to the others and then explained it because apparently no one else followed the news with her passion. 

"Good morning," Lance said as he came to stand next to Gwen, turning to look at their friends. 

"Morning," she said as if she hadn't watched him slip away from her half an hour earlier. 

"This flight of yours," Gwen started.

"Yes."

"Who is taking you to the airport?"

"I thought Merlin would."

"Would you mind if I took you?"

"No, I wouldn't mind at all. I'd quite like it." After a moment Lance added: 

"You're staying here then?"

"Yes."

"Gwen—"

"Guinevere, please. I like it when you use my full name."

"Guinevere, I won't have another holiday for a few months, but when I do, would you pick me up too?"

"Yes, I'd love to."

They smiled at each other.

"What are you doing standing there, come and eat," Leon said. He made room for Gwen at the table and kicked Arthur in the shin to do the same for Lance. Arthur was about to protest, but all it took was one touch from Merlin to settle him. Gwen sat down and hooked her ankle with Lance's as he did the same. 

"What would you like?" Merlin asked.

"Beans, please," they said in one voice.

**Author's Note:**

> Gratitude to the ones who've earned it. Your time will come.
> 
> EDA after the reveals. My thanks to the best EMP beta team a girl could ever ask for: bookjunkie1975, LaTessitrice, and sabriel017.


End file.
